Jonti has worked for over 12 years in the field of Tantra, expanding sexual experience and consciousness. Jonti offers workshops, talks, private and group lessons in the field of sexuality & sensuality. He assists singles, couples and groups in healing, creating a deeper connection, intimacy, pleasure and the magic between sex and spirituality.
“Yoni Massage is an experience of deep pleasure, intimacy and connection. It is a way of honoring your lover and giving her a gift of intimacy and beauty..”
Giving a gift of pleasure to a woman allows her to fully let go into the experience. There’s a deep expectation of reciprocation when it comes to sex. This often prevents women going deeply and fully into pleasure. When she knows that nothing is expected from her, that this is absolutely about her pleasure, you’re giving her the space for the fullest possible experience.
Preparation Is Key: 6 Important Facts To Take Care Of Before The Yoni Massage
The first step in giving your lover this beautiful gift is CREATING THE SPACE. This is an expression of love, it says that you are important to each other. It’s also about creating an intention. This is a time of togetherness, of pleasure. You come into the space to share something special, creating a space allows the experience to be different.
#1 The Right Temperature
The physical elements of the space can be simple or more creative and complex. Warmth is vital. If you’re not warm you cannot relax. I can’t emphasize this enough. It’s so simple, but one of the most aspects of any sensual experience.
#2 The Right Ambiance
You need light, not bright light, not a spotlight, so if you’re going to light candles make sure there are plenty.
#3 The Right Sound
Music can add to the experience, no music with words. Not your favorite love songs, you’ll be singing the songs in your head and you’re not present.
#4 The Right Lubricant
Lubricant is absolutely necessary for the Yoni Massage. What’s important about your choice of lubricant is that it’s as plain as possible and stays on the skin. The tissues of your Yoni are sensitive, the purer the product the better for you.
#5 The Right Coziness
Towels, cushions, blankets, snacks, whatever else you want for comfort. The space creates a cocoon for your sharing and pleasure. Every time you do this you add to the fabric of intimacy between you and your partner.
#6 The Right Mindset
One of the most important principles of pleasure is GETTING OUT OF THE GOAL. Unfortunately when orgasm rather than pleasure becomes the goal of any sexual experience we miss out on so many pleasure possibilities.
Being present in the moment allows for us to experience amazing feelings, sensations and emotions.
Yoni Massage is not always about orgasm. This is so important I’ll say it again. Yoni Massage is not always about orgasm. It’s about pleasure.
Communication about what you’re feeling is vital. Think about doing this after the massage. If you’re constantly talking and giving feedback to your partner you can’t let go fully into the experience. Make a time to do a massage, communicating about what your partner is experiencing. For the deepest pleasure allow yourself to let go as deeply as you can.
Get comfortable. If you’re not comfortable you’re not going to relax into the pleasure. As the person doing the massage, if you’re not comfortable you lose interest and don’t want to be there. Sitting between your partner’s legs is a good position for a Yoni Massage, whatever way do it, get comfortable.
The 12 Crucial Steps To A Deeply Fulfilling Yoni Massage
Step 1: Be Patient
To reach higher states of pleasure takes time. A woman’s sexual fire needs nurturing, enjoy each step along this journey. Allow her to feel the sensations, to savour the feelings.
Step 2: Connect With Her
Begin the massage by putting one hand on your partner’s heart centre, in the middle of her chest, one hand on her yoni. Let your hands go soft, sink into her body. Breathe, connect. Take the time to settle into each other.
Step 3: Add Lubricant & Move In Circles
Spread some lubricant over her yoni. With your hand on her yoni, slide your fingers just over her pubic bone, make firm circles with your fingertips.
Step 4: Stroke, Circle, Squeeze
Using your thumbs or index fingers, stroke up and down in her groin crease, softly squeezing her lips together. You can alternate, one side strokes up, the other down. Make circles with your fingertips on the same path, then gently squeeze her lips together. Turn your hands sideways, hold her lips between your fingers and slide up and down, holding her lips between your fingers and thumbs. Stroke with one finger, from the top of her yoni, down between the outer and inner lips, a few strokes on one side, a few on the other side. Branches of the clitoral nerves run here, on some women these can raise to form almost another set of lips. Make a circle on the same pathway, clockwise, anti-clockwise.
Remember to touch slowly and gently, allowing her fire to begin to rise.
Step 5: Include The Perineum
With one finger, stroke down from her pubic bone, between her lips, over her clit, between her inner lips, over the opening of her yoni to the perineum. The perineum, the area between her yoni and anus, is very sensitive, filled with nerves. It can actually trigger it’s own orgasm.
Continue this stroke for up to 2 minutes, don’t go harder, don’t go faster. This is a good general rule for this part of the massage.Relax. Enjoy the sensation of touching your lover, watching the beauty of her yoni, watching her body respond.
Step 6: Include The Urethra
Between her clit and yoni opening is a pad of flesh where the urethra is. Sometimes it’s narrow, sometimes it’s wider. This is the external stimulation point for the G-Spot. If you feel a bone behind where you’re rubbing, you’re in the right place. Put gentle pressure with the tip of your finger, rub incircles, across this area.
Step 7: Include The Clitoris
Then put two fingers on either side of the hood of her clit, stroke up and down, one up, one down, gently squeeze her clit between your fingers. With one fingertip on the head of her clit, FEATHERLIGHT, make circles, stroke up and down, across.
The letters of the alphabet are awesome on her clit, the most intense sensations coming from M, W and Z.
Step 8: The Entrance Of The Yoni
Slowly circle the entrance of her yoni with one finger, allow her to draw you in. Inside her yoni is a world of pleasure, once again, slowly.
Many women experience very little of what’s possible because men are so often in a hurry to get somewhere, make something happen.
The response of her body will show you how much is happening. And when you talk afterwards you’ll be amazed at what she felt from this gentle slow gift.
Step 9: The Mystical G-Spot
Make small circles on the upper wall of her yoni, each one going deeper inside: This is right on her G-Spot.
The G-Spot is a gland that has many ducts. It’s connected to her fertility, her hormone balance and fluid that can be ejaculated.
This gland is on the upper wall of her yoni. As it becomes aroused, which it will from all the external stimulation, you’ll feel the skin under your fingers change texture, it becomes corrugated, like corduroy. It will bulge down slightly, about the size and shape of a butter bean. In some women, and in a high state of arousal, this can literally swell to the size of a golf ball. The G-Spot extends the entire length of her yoni, narrowing to a point as it goes deeper. This ends just in front of her cervix, and can trigger an orgasm that can last for 2 or 3 minutes.
On either side of the G-Spot are 2 channels. These carry sensation from the front inside. Stroke one finger along each of these channels in turn, slide one or two fingers into her yoni on the upper wall, make a scooping motion a few times in each direction deep inside. Slide your fingers out, turn to one side, do the same thing, slide out, in along the bottom, then the other side. Circle your fingers in her yoni, one direction, then the other.
Step 10: The Art Of Stroking
On the upper wall make 9 shallow strokes, the one deep inside. Repeat this 9 times. With your fingers deep in her yoni stroke back and forth on the upper wall. While you’re doing this, push on her G-Spot from above with your fingers.
Stroke out and in with your fingers curved into a banana shape. Start slowly, making your strokes harder and faster.
There’s often a point in this where you cannot stroke hard or fast enough. As her fire builds the stimulation she needs will grow in intensity. Be ready to match her and give her what she needs.
This is the time to be a sexual warrior.
Step 11: Mix Clitoral & Vaginal Stimulation
As your strokes intensify you can include clitoral stimulation as well.
Now here’s one of the biggest yoni massage secrets:
Stop. Stop moving. Push your fingers up against her G-Spot. Hold still there. Push harder. You’ll feel her pulsate. You’ll see her body throb. Don’t move.
This is a state of deep pleasure. You can hold until the throbbing slows and stops. This can be a time to end the massage. Hold your fingers in her yoni, your other hand on her heart centre.
Or take her even higher, let the fire burn stronger. Stroke your fingers into her yoni. Start slowly.Build the intensity, harder, faster, rub her clit with your other hand. Be there, fully present. Take her as high as she’ll go. In this state there’s often more, many more than one orgasm. And sometimes the orgasm is so deep that it leaves her fully satisfied.
Step 12: Allow Space & Hold Her
Gentle her down from wherever she is. Hold her. Allow her her space.
She may want to make love, she may want to just be held.
Learn Even More Powerful Secrets To The Art Of Yoni Massage
There are so many yoni massage movements, so many ways to pleasure a woman. The more you connect with yourself, with your partner, the more you’ll do beautiful things. I discussed some of these in this article but if you and your partner would like to experience the fullness of a Yoni massage then have a look at the Yoni Massage DVD and the Advanced Yoni Massage DVD available on ErosLifeSA.com. (Click on “Shop” >> “Instructional Videos”).